You’re stocking up on shotgun shells and Dinty Moore Beef Stew

Why America Is Still Awesome

cheap jordans free shipping Today, a man by the name of John Devore gives America a pep talk. Mr. Devore has written and edited for Maxim and other magazines (which are like the internet, but on paper and with skinnier pornography). cheap jordans free shipping

Cheap jordans First things first: Don’t freak out about the title. I know things look bleak. You’re stocking up on shotgun shells and Dinty Moore Beef Stew, dreading the day you inevitably cheap Air max shoes have to pitchfork fight a hobo over the last piece of firewood in the Hooverville. Hell, you might even be thinking that Kanye West was wrong for once: maybe “The Good Life” isn’t all that. That Wall cheap air jordan Street is run by Hamburglars. The government is basically too many pigs at too small a trough. That we’re broke, at war(s) and, instead of dealing with it, we’ve chosen to cheap jordan sneakers watch celebrities dance, dance, dance for the bloodthirsty hordes. We torture to make ourselves feel safer, cheat each other to make ourselves richer and have generally behaved like raging assholes. Cheap jordans

cheap jordans from china Think about it we’re a country of over 300 million people, and each of us is told, and honestly, earnestly believes that we’re special. That we have a right to pursue happiness. There’s no guarantee that happiness will cheap jordans online ever happen. We’re just cleared to chase, lunge and claw after that happiness, like an eternal dangling carrot. Our dreams matter. This is pounded into us. It is part of our collective DNA. Everyone is special. We believe it, even if it isn’t true. cheap jordans from china

cheap jordans online When we succeed, we succeed big (see: the Empire State Building, Moon landing, cheese stuffed pizza crust). When we fail, we fail big (see: the Great Depression, Slavery, Spider man 3). We lurch and strive and aspire to greatness. Other countries fear us (not just because we have over 7,000 tactical nukes, though how utterly crazy is that?). They fear us, mainly, because we are an experiment, and experiments can explode. Or they can go on a rampage, like Frankenstein’s monster. cheap jordans online

cheap yeezys These two things are also America. cheap yeezys

cheap air force Frankenstien might actually be the closest cultural predecessor. America isn’t a democracy where majority rules. We’re an anti tyranny ocracy. We’re terrified of tyranny, no matter what form it takes: the government, the free Cheap jordans market, your neighbors. The mob can never fully be trusted. Don’t tread on me. Get off my lawn. cheap jordans on sale The forefathers had total faith in two things: “freedom” and “people are jerks.” They knew that power corrupts, and so they created a system where power is like a bacon grease slathered football: slippery. cheap air force

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cheap jordans in china I like to think Cheap jordans of myself as a Patriot. I know that’s kind of cheesy, but I’ve OD’d on snark recently. Sorry internet, but pure, uncut ironic disaffection has become an inadequate coping mechanism. I am not a bible thumping, jingoistic redneck with the stars and stripes tattooed over generous man boobs. Nor am I an effete, pseudo intellectual hipster with smooth, manicured hands who blames America for inventing cancer, earthquakes and human vices. But I am a Patriot, because this country gives me the right to be off my rocker. cheap jordans in china

cheap jordans on sale And that idea is basically that I get to say this: I am John DeVore and you are not. I am a right wing pinko, a militant centrist, a control freak anarchist. I believe in gun rights and gay rights. I want gays to experience the joys of divorce, and I want them to be well armed. I am a Texan, which means I’m the American equivalent of a Klingon. But I live in Queens, New York, one of the most ethnically diverse places on Earth. My local dive bar is the United Nations. I’m a half Mexican/half redneck, who was raised cheap jordans from china both a Catholic and a Baptist. How many countries does cheap jordans shoes that happen in? It happens here like. all the time. I’m not even the weirdest multicultural mutt out there we elected one for president. cheap jordans on sale

cheap jordans sale You know he’s part Skrull, too? Weird, right? cheap jordans sale

cheap jordans shoes I have dreams, and I work my ass off stumbling in the general direction of those cheap yeezys dreams. And all I ask is this: If I tell you to get off my lawn, get off my lawn. If I don’t tell you to get off my lawn, come on in! Let’s drink beer and play Xbox. I am one of approximately 301,139,947 other people who all think they are special. Are we all really special? Who knows. Probably not. cheap air force It’s a savage world and life is cheap. But we think we are. That’s what counts. cheap jordans shoes

cheap nike shoes I’m not excusing our excesses and mistakes. Actions have consequences, and even America is not cheap jordans in china immune to cheap jordans sale that fundamental fact of nature. We all go down together. But we’re still awesome, not down for the count. It is a dark time for the rebel alliance. But our adaptability and individuality will succeed. Each of us will succeed, alone and together. We can’t count on politicians because, let’s cheap jordans china face it, they are glorified sanitation workers. Count, cheap nike shoes instead, on the Awesomeness of America: our pursuit will not be deterred or delayed. Don’t call it a comeback. cheap nike shoes

cheap jordans china Winston Churchill www.czjordanshoes.com once wrote “Always count on America to do the right thing, after they’ve exhausted every other option.” Well we’ve done everything except the right thing for a nice long stretch of time and we’re, if nothing else, exhausted. Looks like we’re well on our way ladies and gents cheap jordans china.



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